Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on April 24, 2006

A “thanks-for-being-a-perfect-gentleman” to the guy at Festival who was considerate enough to help me and my dinner up off the floor after I wiped out.
From an embarrassed but grateful senior who might just be falling for you, too.

A “what-ever-happened-to-‘no-shirt-no-shoes-no-service?’” dart to the half-dressed girls walking around Mrs. Green’s in their bathing suit tops.
From a freshman who can’t understand the hassle it takes to throw on a shirt in order to eat.

A “humanity-needs-more-people-like-you” pat to the group of guys who rescued a bird that was trapped inside a rain gutter.
From two fellow residents who were glad to witness your good deed, and hope you weren’t saving the bird to bring it to the Animal Rights Barbecue.

A “way-to-ignore-me-for-four-years” to The Breeze for never printing one dart or pat of the many I have submitted in my time at JMU.
From a frustrated senior who once in her JMU career just wants a little joy in seeing her dart or pat in newsprint (and who obviously thinks she is funnier than she actually is —Ed.).

A “creativity-is-rarely-rewarded” pat to the College Republicans for having the guts and wit to come up with an event so offensive that Liberal vigilantes felt that animals’ right to life superseded your freedom of speech.
From an amused junior who doesn’t necessarily agree with you, but loves demonstrations of ironic, insightful and infuriating rhetoric.

A “your-popped-collar-should-double-as-a-sneeze-guard” dart to the girl in the green shirt who sprayed all over everyone in line about eight times.
From a disgusted sophomore girl who thinks that next time you have a sneezing fit, you should pull your collar up high enough to cover your nose.