House Editorial: I can't get no satisfaction out of ABC celebrity programming
Posted on April 27, 2006

As if Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger isn’t famous (or rich) enough, ABC executives are in negotiations to cast him in a new sitcom in which a group of New York City guys try to rob him of his fortune. Clever.

The original title of the show, “I Want To Rob Jeff Goldblum,” was turned down after the actor of the title role dropped out to work on another project, leaving ABC in the lurch to find someone just as good. Naturally, British rock god Jagger was the best choice to replace semi-successful Goldblum, whose latest small-screen credits include a so-so performance as Karen’s crazed stalker on “Will & Grace.” Jagger’s name, unlike Goldbum, will not appear in the title of the sitcom and he will only appear in a few episodes.

If ABC really wants to run with this idea, why not swap famous people every episode? “I Want To Rob Mary Tyler Moore” or ”I Want To Rob Bruce Campbell” might be interesting. Or, they could even take it one step further and use one of the Ten Commandments. Maybe “I Want To Covet Hulk Hogan’s House” would be a good title. Actually, he’s pretty much got that under control.

The point is, ABC must be stopped. Since “Desperate Housewives,” they’ve been on a rampage to push the racy-but-random-TV-show envelope. And, though we have to give Mark Cherry credit for his intriguing creation, “Desperate Housewives” is about all the network can take. After all, it can’t keep all the most powerful stars in the world for itself. Unless, of course, its master plan is to create a show called “I Want To Rob The World Of Its Most Famous People.” Now that’s an idea.