Darts & Pats
Posted on September 7, 2006

A “way-to-be-the-source-of-ignition” dart to the three girls who sat, smoking, 10 feet away from the basement entrance to HHS during the natural gas leak.
From an ISAT major who would not appreciate seeing his second home go up in flames, and thought you were hot enough without an inferno.

A “she-even-had-shampoo-in-her-hair” pat to the girl who, despite all the announcements about the key-through fire drill, still came out in only a towel.
From a resident who wonders what you did, dripping wet, for an hour-and-a-half outside.

A “go-tell-the-world-if-I-so-much-as-fart” dart to the creepy stalkers who overhauled Facebook.
From a pissed-off-to-the-point-of-spitting female sophomore who can’t stand how we have let our right to privacy be so inexcusably violated.

A “we-could-have-actually-been-on-fire” dart to the Harrisonburg Fire Department, who took over a half-hour to respond to rescue us from the imaginary fire, and then couldn’t turn the fire alarm off.
From annoyed residents who are still waiting for their knights in shining armor.

A “thanks-for-the-show” pat to the grown man dressed up as Elvis who drove past me on a road in the sticks.
From an awestruck junior girl with a thing for real-life overgrown sideburns who was glad to see the King lives on.

A “thanks-for-disturbing-the-peace-and-quiet” dart to the couple in the Airport Lounge who couldn’t keep their flirts and affection to themselves.
From disgusted junior who would appreciate it if you two would get a private room next time.