Breeze Perspectives: ‘Weathering’ the storm
Mother Nature’s menopausal-like temperature and precipitation changes leave us all washed up
By Traci Cox, contributing writer
Posted on September 11, 2006

Lately, I’ve been weathered down by the weather. Rain, dark clouds, humidity and the accompanying rancid dog food smell has put me in a less-than-chipper mood. I’ve been depressed by this tropical depression, sulking around in galoshes with an umbrella the size of those found perched over picnic tables as my only defense against these despicable elements. With a fist shaking toward the sky I mutter obscenities at Zeus, Bob Ryan and a tempestuous Latino man named Ernesto. I’m fed up by arriving to class — late, of course — as if I just completed the Ironman. I’m sick and tired of sitting down for class and finding the seat of my chair to be a puddle where some moron decided to throw his umbrella (I will get you back). But most of all, I’m exhausted by everyone’s agitated, negative and downtrodden attitude. Weather, you shall weather my weary soul no more!

My friends, don’t let the man get you down — the weatherman, that is. I usually picture him in a devil costume, pointing out the potential downpours and natural disasters with a pitchfork, laughing maniacally as his devotees clamber around the house for ponchos, shovels and sandbags. I’ve never met one of these prophets of doom, but after careful observation and religious Weather Channel-watching, it has occurred to me that these meticulously manicured and perfectly pressed anchors get paid to make (or more often break) my day.

What sad, overpaid fellows. Despite popular belief, they actually don’t have the slightest control over the elements. Most of them don’t even step outside in the morning to see what the weather is actually like. How many times have you watched the current weather prediction in your area say something like, “Partly sunny, slightly overcast, chance of rain 50 percent, clear skies later on?” My eight ball could have created a more enlightening forecast.

Nevermore shall we put so much faith and hope into often mistaken and depressing daily predictions. Who cares what the weather is like? Don’t let it destroy your day, dear Dukes! Let us put to a halt this incessant grumbling after stepping off a curb into a lake or stumbling into class looking as though the Harrisonburg Fire Department doused you.

Is it a sauna when you step outside the door? Respond with a jovial, “Global warming, sweet! I always thought the eastern United States would be better as a beach!” Pouring rain? Basketball-sized hail? “Bring it on! I needed a new car anyway!” A torrential blizzard? “Thanks a lot, Jack Frost, for snowing me inside my arctic-temperature house! I really needed a break from work, that is, if my office building even still exists after the roof caved in from six feet of snow!” These are only a few examples of how you can utilize positive self-talk to turn your “Day After Tomorrow” experience into one more akin to “Pleasantville.”

After all, some people live for rainy days. Much of the most inspirational literature (Jack London’s “How to Build a Fire” really makes you appreciate tropical heat waves) and music was created in less-than-perfect driving conditions. Think about that old crooner who couldn’t help himself from “Singing in the Rain.” Or what about the songwriter who couldn’t get enough of that freezing-cold precipitation and begged to “Let it Snow?” Now they knew how to make the best out of the weather.

The reality is, some days you’re going to be pelted by hail; others you may spend sprawled on the Quad in an attempt to “Soak up the Sun.” Whether the weather is gorgeous or gross, make sure to never allow the sun to set upon your positive attitude.

Traci Cox is a sophomore English major.