Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on September 14, 2006

A “your-meal-plan-doesn’t-pay-my-rent” dart to the big group of freshmen I waited on at a classy downtown restaurant.
From a financially challenged grad student who wants you to remember to tip your server when you venture off campus to eat dinner.

An “it-happens” pat to my microbiology lab partner for extracting dog feces for our semester long project.
From a fellow lab partner who appreciates your bravery and stone-cold stoicism in spite of your initial disgust.

A “keep-it-in-your-pants” dart to the hypersexual couple swapping spit every morning on the bus.
From a disgusted sophomore who thinks PDA before lunchtime should be illegal.

A “way-to-go-above-and-beyond-the-call-of-duty” pat to the Parking Services attendant who always directs me to empty spaces.
From a time-constrained senior who appreciates the closest thing to valet parking this campus is going to get.

A “put-your-darts-and-pats-where-your-mouth-is” dart to everyone at JMU for slacking on your responsibility in this beloved, submission-based section of The Breeze.
From a frustrated opinion editor who, due to natural laws beyond his control, cannot print what he does not have.