Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on September 18, 2006

A “we-are-a-college-not-an-elementary-school” dart to whoever put the new seats in at Grafton-Stovall Theatre.
From a junior who would like to be able to extend her legs more than two inches before she hits the person sitting in front of her.

A “way-to-take-one-for-the-team” pat to the last hornless unicorns that valiantly sacrificed their magical powers to serve right ideals and justice for all.
From a level-42 fighting gnomish mage in search of the emerald sword.

An “academic-buildings-are-not-a-place-to-hang-meat” dart to Theatre II for permanently setting its thermostat at temperatures that would freeze out Eskimos.
From a frostbitten junior who doesn’t appreciate the hypothermia she’s caught from her hours spent inside the igloo.

A “the-smell-is-gone-but-so-is-my-entertainment” dart to the cleaning crew that got rid of  the dead bird outside my dormitory.
From a guy that took enjoyment in watching the bird decompose day by day.

A “keep-your-mouthpiece-to-yourself” dart to the person who left his or her retainer underneath a paper napkin tray in D-hall.
From a group of disgusted juniors who lost their appetite for lunch upon finding your purple retainer.

A “did-you-think-this-would-help?” dart to the promoters of the new “Jackass” movie for including stink bombs in the promotion packages they gave away at Rocktown Grill.
From an angry senior who would love to throw rotten eggs at your house as a form of poetic justice.