Breeze Perspectives: Trash-talking at JMU
What is this, your home? Students should know better than to litter all over campus
By Kevin Irby, contributing writer
Posted on September 25, 2006

When the words “JMU campus” cross my mind, my next thoughts often turn to our immaculate Quad. Its sloping green surfaces, dotted with the fairer sex and the occasional game of Frisbee, stoke the feeling of community I associate with the JMU nation. Its cleanliness is a testament to our mutual respect for our shared environment and for each other.

However, as of late, a malevolent specter has risen from the depths of the student body to lay claim to such hallowed spaces. This swift and terrible enemy strikes mercilessly, ever striving to increase its holdings from the commons, Bridgeforth Stadium and even across the highway at ISAT. Even now, its shadowy work detracts from our very collegiate dignity, draining school spirit and spewing lethargy.

You may well ask, “What demon-spawned madness are you referring to?” to which I reply thusly: Who said anything about demons? I simply refer to the small number of slothful, arrogant ignoramuses that cannot grasp the concept of putting their garbage into a trash can. 

My discovery of this cabal began about a week ago, when I noticed two Chick-fil-a bags floating like tumbleweed around the entrance to Market One. Thinking nothing of it at the time, I scooped them up and disposed of them. Later that same day, while passing by the commons, the grim visage of empty cups and a box from Let’s Go greeted me. About this time, the rusty gears in my head started to turn as I wondered who had left such a mess behind. More importantly, I pondered methods to curb such behavior in the future, and in the true spirit of JMU, I came up with a single magnificent answer: fines. I derived this answer from my grandparents’ stories about the fabled land of Canada, where littering can result in a $250 or greater fine. People may see that as harsh, but if faced with the choice between a short walk to a trash can or losing a large sum of money, most people would choose the short walk. Anyone who would rather throw away 250 bucks than their garbage needs to come and talk with me. My wallet is the perfect receptacle.

In all honesty, I do not actually believe such a draconian measure deserves a place here at JMU. I find it difficult to believe that a group of students with enough spirit to choke a goat will not take the time to properly dispose of their tubes of purple face paint on game day. Surely, simple respect for our shared home should suffice for motivation. I understand that this may not always ring true, but even if you cannot respect the place, you can show some respect for the people who live there. If even that leaves you unmoved, then how about showing some respect for the fine men and women who work to keep our grounds habitable? If none of these considerations move you, then perhaps you should question why you came to JMU in the first place. I am sure there were plenty of openings at Pigsty University or the College of Your Parents’ Basement, where admissions tolerates that sort of ignorance.

That being said, the cleanliness of JMU is a responsibility shared by everyone who lives and works here. Whether you hum the JMU Fight Song in your sleep or just enjoy eating among friends at Festival, I think we can all agree that keeping the faith includes doing one’s own part. If anyone disagrees, we should send that person to Canada.

Kevin Irby is a sophomore SMAD major.