Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on October 19, 2006

A “way-to-haul-it” pat to the guy running around pantless, all the while being chased by a dozen cops, three cop dogs and four patrol cars.
From two junior girls who were happy to see their tax dollars go to good use.

A “UREC-is-not-’Star-Wars’-themed” dart to the student who moans like Chewbacca when pumping iron.
From an astonished junior who had to stop in the middle of his workout to laugh at your Wookiee antics.

A “you-saved-my-life-and-house-and-food” pat to the guy across the street who extinguished my raging stovetop fire by throwing the pot of flaming oil out the back door.
From a senior girl who didn’t know how much heat it took to make a pot of peanut oil burst into flame.

A “where-did-that-duck-go?” dart to the alligator that apparently lives, and feeds, in Newman Lake.
From a duck-loving sophomore who knows that when ducks go under the water, they are supposed to come back up.

A “you-rock-my-world” pat to the Dining Services employee at Festival who used his own punch to pay for my dinner.
From a sophomore who freaked when she didn’t have her JAC Card, and was so thankful for your random act of kindness.

A “dancing-at-the-Guster-show-is-not-rated-NC-17” dart to the guys, who decided that an orgy was in order and pushed into people.
From a senior girl who wanted to enjoy her 21st birthday gift, not your butt perpetually grinding against hers.

A “good-job-traumatizing-your-child” pat to the parent who decided to put an umbrella in the James Madison statue’s hand and pose their child for a picture.
From a freshman who likes to laugh, but really does feel sorry for that little girl.

An “I-already-have-enough-school-spirit” dart to whoever threw purple paint at my car while driving on Interstate 81.
From a senior girl who has your license plate number and is not happy that her Fall Break was spent scrubbing paint of her newly washed car.