Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on November 6, 2006

A “thank-you-angel-eating-nachos” pat to the munching guy who told me my backpack was unzipped, and then zipped it up for me.
From a grateful sophomore who wishes that all boys would put down their food to help a girl in need.

A “tow-truck-driven-by-Speedy-Gonzales” dart to a certain Harrisonburg towing company who jacked a car in seven minutes flat.
From a senior who loves bailing his mom’s car out of impound while she’s visiting because you took it with her purse inside, and rewards you with $120 for your super-sweet skills.

A “you-deserve-employee-of-the-month” to the future American Idol working at Wal-Mart who serenaded me during checkout.
From a senior who usually dreads going to Wallyworld, but was thoroughly entertained by your singing and hopes you’re there next time.

A “someone-needs-to-live-a-little” dart to the RA who kicked us out and then threatened to call the police on us for using a dormitory bathroom.
From four seniors who relieved themselves on your building instead of in your bathroom, and hope you realize a toilet is just a toilet.

A “thanks-for-making-my-week” pat to the kid longboarding by ISAT pretending to shoot people with a banana as he rode by.
From an amused sophomore who has now seen just about everything, and will never look at fruit the same way again.

A “have-a-little-bit-of-self-respect” dart to the girl in front of me in the pasta line at Dukes who snatched multiple breadsticks and crammed them into her pasta box.
From a senior who didn’t think the stereotypical trashy behavior of the female population on this campus extended to petty theft.