Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on November 13, 2006

A “thanks-for-lending-us-some-sugar” to the boys next door, who bring us barbecue, take out our trash, sing us Christmas carols in August and teach us to play strange Aboriginal instruments.
From 10 girls who cannot imagine the neighborhood without neighborly love like theirs.

A “go-to-your-room” dart to the boy in the library who decided to take a nap in the cubicle and snored his face off.
From an annoyed junior girl who went to the library to get away from distractions, not listen to you struggle for oxygen.

A “God-still-loves-both-of-you” pat to the two girls who made out in front of the obnoxious preacher on the commons.
From a senior girl who was impressed with your bravery and who knows you two are most certainly not “whores.”

A “why-do-you-so-hate-spell-check?” dart to the opinion editor of The Breeze, who misspelled headlines in both issues last week.
From a roommate of two fellow editors who wonders how you’ve made it to your senior year of college.

A “finally-you-listen-to-the-people” pat to President Bush for, at long last, showing Donald Rumsfeld the door.
From a senior who thinks you could have avoided your routing on Tuesday had you fired the guy in July.

A “don’t-play-with-your-food” pat to the lady at a drive-through making googly-eyes at a goldfish in a plastic bag.
From a senior guy who hopes you had enough wherewithal to put the damn fish down when you were told to “pull around.”