Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on November 30, 2006

A “don’t-make-me-guilty-by-association” dart to the psycho girl who talked about parties, alcohol and drugs during the ride home with my teetotalistic parents.
From an innocent girl who questioned whether her parents were going to emit her into a rehab center the next day.

A “way-to-show-your-holiday-spirit” pat to the boys driving around campus on Tuesday blasting Alvin and the Chipmunks through their open windows.
From a sophomore who had to laugh at your enthusiasm and was glad you reminded her the holiday break will be here soon.

An “isn’t-my-tuition-enough?” dart to the Madison Class Challenge for continually asking me for money and then criticizing me for not contributing more.
From a senior who has spent close to $70,000 at this school, and wants you to know where you can shove those donations.

A “sarcasm-must-be-on-the-house” dart to the Festival omelet worker who criticized me early in the morning when I was slow to decide what to order.
From a JMU affiliate who would rather spill hot coffee on his crotch going through a drive-thru than deal with you again.

A “thanks-for-the-Abercrombie-advertisement” pat to the kid who came to a job interview  with his collar popped.
From a faculty member who enjoyed laughing at you so much that you left before the interview even started.

A “grown-men-are-unbecoming-when-they-whine” dart to Coach Matthews for trying to blame anyone other than himself for the playoff loss.
From a senior who thinks that an adjustment to the pass defense at halftime may have, in retrospect, been a wise move.