Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on December 7, 2006

An “I-should-have-gotten-that-insurance” dart to the duck that climbed onto the hood of my car and quacked at me.
From a dumbfounded junior guy who is tempted to file an Aflac claim for the bite you took out of my finger when I tried to shoo you away.

A “way-to-figure-it-out” pat to my friend who, after three years of college, just now learned the difference between a “dart” and a “pat.”
From your highly amused friend who didn’t take nearly as long to comprehend the advanced theoretical concept, and will never let you live this down.

A “perhaps-the-failure-is-in-you” dart to the JMU faculty member who believes our students are “stupid.”
From a staff member who works very closely with students, continues to be impressed with their quality and finds your comments insulting.

A “wave-them-around-like-you-don’t-care” pat to the guy who inadvertently toasted his cup into a ceiling fan.
From a friend who had already showered once that day, but thanked you for the unexpected sprinkling anyway.

An “I-needed-to-beat-out-my-frustrations” pat to the guy walking around the Airport Lounge in Warren Hall with a piñata on his head.
From an amused sophomore who was glad someone had a sense of humor during this miserable week.

A “whatever-happened-to-the-hold-button?” dart to my roommate for not telling me her mom was on speakerphone.
From an embarrassed junior who described an entire sex scene from “Clerks II” before noticing that the phone was open.

A “thanks-for-being-appropriately-immature” pat to the two girls who dressed up as a reindeer and a snowman for President Rose’s winter party.
From a sophomore who loved seeing the little kids laugh and play, and wishes everyone had your holiday spirit.

A “please-wave-to-me-in-my-cardboard-box” to everyone who thinks they don’t need to tip at Madison Grill.
From a frustrated senior who knows the rent won’t get paid with $2.50 an hour and 50-cent tips.