Don’t waste your time, ‘Because I Said So’
Keaton’s latest film tries to be funny but fails on all accounts
By Caite White, senior writer
Posted on February 5, 2007

“Because I Said So” wants to be dramatic, but funny. It wants to be a story of romance and love, but still funny. It wants to be a story about a mother’s unfailing devotion to her three daughters, but somehow wants to throw in a few things that make it funny. Unfortunately, it fails on nearly all accounts.

The movie opens with the eldest daughter of Daphne Wilder’s (Diane Keaton, “The Family Stone”) eldest daughter Maggie (Lauren Graham, TV’s “Gilmore Girls”) getting married. There’s a fabulous cake, beautiful dresses and the mother and her three daughters bonding. Next scene: The second daughter  Mae (Piper Perabo, “The Prestige”) is getting married. There’s a fabulous cake, beautiful dresses and the mother and her three daughters bonding.

Next scene: The third daughter, Milly (Mandy Moore, “Saved”) is getting marri— wait. The third daughter is a notorious relationship screw-up and has yet to find Mr. Right. It’s a good thing her mother is there to place a personal ad seeking her daughter’s perfect mate. Of course, a lame montage of unsuitable suitors follows where Daphne tries to choose which one she thinks would be best. The very last interviewee, an uptight architect (Tom Everett Scott, TV’s “Saved”) waltzes in and charms the 1950s hoopskirt and cravat right off her. Unfortunately, the musician across the room (Gabriel Macht, “The Good Shepherd”) also finds Daphne’s idea intriguing and “has a feeling” he’d really like her daughter, too. He steals Milly’s business card off the table and the audience gets the feeling that that’s not the last time we’ll be seeing Johnny. But that’s just a guess.

Actually, the funniest scene in the movie involves the tattooed (his hand isn’t the only place he has one, he lets us know) musician. From across the street, he watches Milly struggle with her static cling until finally she removes the slip she’s wearing in the middle of the road and catches the attention of a red balloon, which sticks to her backside. It stays there through the rest of the scene while Johnny charms her with the idea that ice cream gets rid of static cling (as an ice cream truck rolls by). Moore overacts her response to his “What’s your favorite flavor?” question, trying too hard to be funny and charming at the same time — a problem she has throughout the entire movie.

Perhaps the most entertaining character in the movie was the one the audience barely sees, save a few scenes in which she counsels Stuart (Tony Hale, “Arrested Development”) (conveniently also someone who responded to Daphne’s personal ad), a suicidal hypoglycemic patient whom Milly eventually opens the window for and encourages jumping through it. Graham, as the wiser eldest daughter, lends a calm realness to the movie that the other three characters don’t. Instead, they make you feel nervous.

Even Keaton disappoints. If anything, avoid this movie simply to keep your image of her as Annie Hall or even Annie Paradis in “The First Wives Club.” In “Because I Said So,” she draws on her stock over-the-top gestures and that same scrunched-up “waaaaaaa” face she’s grown so accustomed to using. It’s physically uncomfortable to watch her parading through each scene in her ridiculously buttoned-up outfit while she meddles in her daughter’s life.

At the very least, the movie is a nice 102-minute escape. Unfortunately, you’re escaping to a world where humor is responded to with nervous laughter and creativity is replaced with cliché. Because I said so, wait to get this one on DVD.