Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on February 12, 2007

A “take-a-look-at-a-horse’s-hoof” dart to the Opinion Editor who called horses “cloven animals” in a Letter to the Editor headline.
From a biology major who knows that horses are Perissodactyls (odd-toed), not Artiodactyls (even-toed), and had to smirk at your mistake.

An “are-you-a-legitimate-business?” dart to the sketchy towing guy who told me to meet him at Quizno’s in 10 minutes with $120 in cash to get my car back.
From a freaked-out sophomore who did not know that parking would give her nightmares for a week.

A “thanks-for-the-lap” pat to the girl who only laughed at me when I fell on top of her on the bus.
From a sophomore girl who was horribly embarrassed and is going to start taking balancing classes to avoid this in the future.

A “real-news-never-sleeps” dart to The Breeze for not printing Thursday’s issue until Friday because of a snow day.
From a sleepy junior who was sad not to have her Darts & Pats fix for Thursday-morning classes.

A “did-you-think-we-were-coming-for-the-salad?” dart to Dining Services for taking the cheese cubes away from Mrs. Green’s.
From a bunch of disgruntled JMU students who want you to rethink your decision and continue to feed our addiction.

An “are-you-blind-or-just-malicious?” dart to the woman who didn’t see the crosswalk sign, the bright blinking lights or the JMU student attempting to legally cross the street by Festival.
From a terrified senior girl whose body was a mere six inches away from your speeding minivan of doom.