Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on February 19, 2007

A “thanks-for-remembering-us-too” dart to JMU for neglecting to take into consideration the off-campus population when approving their measly little 1-hour delay on Thursday.
From a livid off-campus resident who tried everything short of lifting her car out of her parking spot before deciding she’d rather skip class than die.

A “way-to-show-Mother-Nature-who’s-boss” pat to the naked kids running around on the Quad at 4 a.m. on Valentine’s Day.
From the guy in the sidewalk plow from whom you tried to hide, who was greatly impressed with your mad polar bear skills.

A “this-is-a-college-post-office?” dart to the Warren Hall Post Office that still, after all these years, does not accept debit or credit cards.
From a student who stood in line for 10 minutes only to find out that JMU had not brought this federal institution into the 21st century.

A “thanks-for-saving-my-broken-butt” pat to all the people who ran to help and offered to call an ambulance after I sled into a pole in front of ISAT.
From a very grateful fellow student whose heart was warmed in the snow bank by all those that offered to help.

An “I’m-so-sorry-the-shovels-ruined-your-slumber” dart to the “enraged” student who blasted his or her apartment complex for shoveling the ice and snow.
From an appreciative grad student who was glad that others were doing the dirty work that kept him safe and sound.

An “I-couldn’t-have-done-it-without-you” pat to the JMU maintenance guys who took time out of their day to dig my car out of the icy parking lot.
From an indebted sophomore who knows that she would never have gotten out of that parking spot without your help.

A “the-punishment-should-fit-the-crime” dart to an overzealous hall director for locking the second and third floor study lounges because the kitchen wasn’t clean.
From an upset Bluestone resident who understands why you locked the kitchen, but wonders why the studious students deserved special penalty as well.

A “thanks-for-making-my-designated-driver-duty-entertaining” pat to the pizza guy who delivered food to my car while I was en route.
From a starved driver who needed a little pick-me-up with the food you so graciously provided in your tricked-out wheels.

A “superglue-doesn’t-fix-everything” dart to my roommate who broke my George Foreman and doesn’t think I know.
From your three roommates who didn’t know that, like a little dog, they couldn’t leave you alone for a weekend without you breaking all their stuff.

A “you’re-not-R.-Kelly-and-our-carpet-isn’t-a-14-year-old-girl” dart to the anonymous drunk who broke into our room and urinated on our floor.
From two “pissed off” freshmen who know where the toilet is and how one properly uses it, even at 4 a.m.

A “do-you-really-think-that’s-cool?” dart to the frat guy at UREC for wearing a repulsive rush shirt with the phrase “beating off” on the back.
From a senior sorority girl who knows the difference between appropriate and inappropriate, and didn’t realize that someone at JMU could get it so wrong.

An “it’s-called-rock-salt-and-it’s-cheap” dart to JMU and the surrounding housing complexes for not realizing that, with or without delay, ice will remain slippery.
From a northern junior who will raise hell if she breaks her ankle while walking on the skating rink that was once a parking lot.