Darts & Pats (Submit your own!)
Posted on February 26, 2007

A “the-double-yellow-line-is-there-for-a-reason” dart to the moron in the Camry who tried to go around an immobile car into oncoming traffic on Bluestone Drive.
From the oncoming traffic, who is glad you waited until it was cold, wet and snowy to display your vehicular stupidity.

A “way-to-keep-me-fat-and-happy” pat to Mrs. Green’s for bringing back our beloved cheese cubes.
From a senior who is super-glad she could have one last rendezvous with her favorite on-campus food before graduation.

A “did-you-really-think-it-would-work?” dart to the guys throwing snowballs at my window at 5 a.m. to get me to sled on a mattress with them.
From a tired girl who doesn’t like flirting in the cold in the early morning, especially when you then set off the alarm.

A “thanks-for-the-clothesline” dart to the couple that was walking around the UREC track while holding hands and blocking two-and-a-half lanes.
From a sophomore who is glad you found love, but is not happy when she nearly faceplants as a result.

A “what-did-we-ever-do-to-you?” dart to Brian Goodman, The Breeze’s mouthpiece of the cosmos, for apparently having an ax to grind against Aries.
From an amused junior who was hoping for some good news when she read her horoscope, only to discover she is destined “to have no future.”

A “for-he’s-a-jolly-good-fellow” pat to the honest and kind person who found and mailed a birthday card I dropped on my way to class.
From a grateful freshman that was happy to see that his little brother got his card (and money) on time.

A “laziness-knows-no-bounds” dart to my roommates for their inability to actually change a toilet paper roll when it runs out.
From your frustrated roommate who knows it’s more work in the long run to balance the roll on the empty one instead of just changing it.

A “so-much-for-birthday-punches” pat to my friend who smashed her head against the ice while skating on her 21st birthday.
From your terrible jerk of a friend who couldn’t help but stop and laugh before going over to see if you were all right.