Darts & Pats

Submit Your Own!

Posted on December 3, 2007

An “Emilio-Estevez-would-be-proud” pat to the member of Men’s Chorus who quacked like a duck at the chorus concert last week.
From an entertained sophomore who loved your talent and humor.

A “don’t-make-this-another-‘Trashby’” dart to my new neighbors from New Jersey who throw parties every weekend and leave their trash everywhere.
From a senior who liked last year better when she didn’t have to walk out of her front door to a sea of broken glass and beer cans.

A “chivalry-is-well-rewarded” pat to the Chanello’s driver who gave my friend and me a ride back to our apartment.
From a grateful student who gave you a tip for the ride, which is probably more than most people give you.

A “way-to-be-unCRREDIBL” dart to the Office of Residence Life for its suggestive and unprofessional ad campaign.
From a former ORL employee who believed the department had far more class and dignity.

A “thanks-for-saving-our-homeless-butts” pat to Copper Beech for leasing my roommates and me a townhouse after we got kicked to the curb by Southview.
From an annoyed sophomore who experienced what it was like to be homeless after Southview overbooked his apartment.

An “is-this-an-episode-of-Barney?” dart to whoever chalked the commons with mindless sayings Thursday.
From a junior who doesn’t like to read things on my college campus that my first-grade teacher told me.

A “home-is-where-the-heart-is” pat to Einstein’s Bagels for playing some great country music Friday morning.
From a farm boy at heart who was beginning to feel a little lost in the sea of Uggs and North Face apparel.

A “how-cute-are-you?” pat to the guy who was throwing a football with a little boy on the Quad Thursday afternoon.
From a freezing freshman who was glad she decided to walk to class that day, because she got to see your game of catch.

An “are-you-washing-dishes-with-paper-towels-now?” dart to D-Hall for having visibly dirty dishes all week.
From a faithful D-Hall diner who didn’t need to get food after all because it was already conveniently on his plate.

A “you-really-are-my-favorite” pat to a resident who gave me a hug and ate pudding with me during my mild freak-out session.
From an RA who likes to be the one taken care of sometimes and is so grateful to have a resident like you.

A “too-bad-you-didn’t-know-we-caught-you-on-camera” dart to the person who took two pictures from the wall in the Athletics Compliance Office.
From several disappointed staff members who will offer you one week to return the pictures with an apology.

A “thanks-for-running-away-from-the-angry-maintenance-man-with-me” pat to one of my best friends who moved a wooden pallet and a dirty shovel just so I could have a parking spot.
From a junior who wished she had a camera to capture you laughing so hard that you fell down.

An “I-thought-we-were-past-the-black-stereotypes” dart to the girl who sprinted to her sorority house because she thought she was being followed.
From a harmless junior who was just visiting friends and has much more to fear on this narrow-minded campus than you.

A “what-are-you-really-there-for?” dart to the Wilson Writing Center for refusing to read our 17-page research paper twice because it was “too long.”
From a group of seniors who just want to fulfill their dreams of being published.

An “I-am-just-trying-to-save-YOU-green” dart to Dukes for forcing me to get the unwanted salad with my pasta and drink.
From a food-conserving student who is full after eating the pasta.