Darts & Pats
Posted on January 17, 2008
A “when-did-you-become-the-man-behind-the-curtain?” dart to the College of Business’s academic services center.
From a frustrated business student who can see that despite the college’s celebrated reputation, it still cannot take care of its students.
A “Duke-Dog-is-my-hero” pat to the world’s greatest mascot and the love of my life who made Saturday’s basketball game the highlight of my college experience.
From your absolute biggest fan who wants you to escort her down the aisle when she gets married.
A “can-I-have-some-bagel-with-my-cream-cheese?” dart to the employees at Einstein Bros. for putting a mountain of cream cheese on my bagel when I asked for only a little.
From a perturbed junior who thinks it’s not that hard to grant a small request.
A “but-we-need-more-student-spots!” dart to the Board of Visitors for expanding the always-empty alumni seating, but leaving the overcrowded student section so small.
From a sophomore who would like to be able to use her free bang sticks without hitting the person next to her.
A “what-comes-around-comes-around” dart to the angry student who ran over the parking attendant at Festival and sent him flying into the bushes.
From a senior who thinks you should invest in some anger management classes and hopes jail time is worth the $75 ticket you didn’t want to pay.
A “you-say-you-want-a-revolution” pat to all the loyal Ron Paul supporters who took the time to write his name and some political messages all over campus.
From a fellow Ron Paul supporter who appreciates you trying to educate the student body and hopefully win him some support.
A “thanks-for-listening” dart to HDPT for reducing rather than increasing service to Memorial Hall this semester.
From a sophomore who has no other way to campus and was foolish enough to think you would read and respond to last semester’s online survey.
A “what-time-do-you-have?” dart to the Mr. Chips management who closed the store several minutes early despite the hungry students standing outside.
From two sophomores who are regretting their decision to live on campus.
A “bring-back-the-Electric Zoo” pat to the men’s basketball team, who is currently riding a 6-0 winning streak.
From a grad student who hopes you whoop George Mason’s butt and hopes all JMU students come out to pack the house Saturday night.
A “thanks-for-the-drive-by” dart to the students who sprayed me with a face full of silly string from their car while I was walking on campus.
From a junior who hopes you had just as much fun cleaning the full cup of smoothie off your back window as you did terrorizing the streets of JMU.
A “thanks,-but no-thanks” dart to the Ron Paul supporters who decided to chalk about half the campus with his campaign ideas.
From someone who appreciates the thought of political activism, but thinks Paul’s single-digit primary results just aren’t going to pull him through.
A “this-is-the-last-thing-the- ’Burg-needs” dart to whoever decided to build yet another apartment complex on the already overcrowded Port Republic Road.
From a junior who isn’t looking forward to an hour-long commute to the one-mile-away campus.
A “why-are-you-such-a-tease?” dart to Mother Nature for the pitiful amount of snow that has fallen this winter.
From a senior who just wants one last chance to do some sledding down the ISAT hill.
A “YOU-GUYS-ROCK!” pat to all the JMU students who volunteer as Big Brothers and Big Sisters because you’re making a difference in the lives of children.
From a staff member of Big Brothers, Big Sisters who is especially appreciative because January is National Mentoring Month and we are thankful for you.
