Breeze Perspectives: 'She who waits, also serves' a rewarding saying
For most women, the sight of a man in a military uniform can turn heads and catapult our minds into a whirlwind of daydreams ranging from romantic days on the beach to steamy nights spent at home—not to mention a feeling of security, because, after all, he did go through basic training. However, as a Navy girlfriend, I can assure you there’s more to dating a sailor or a soldier than just a sexy uniform.
Although there are some perks to dating a military man, such as opportunities to travel, the ability to mess with government property and the muscular arms he can wrap you in, girlfriends of soldiers should be prepared to spend about 350 days of the year solo.
In the words of Jack Johnson, you spend your days “sitting, waiting, wishing” for the moment your phone rings and your caller I.D displays “unknown number.” Your walls are plastered with photos displaying the two of you with smiles wider than an ocean, and the post office knows you by first name. Your iPod is filled with songs like Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing,” “All My Loving,” by the Beatles and the classic 1962 “Soldier Boy” by The Shirelles—you even sing each and every word with the feeling as if the song was written for you.
Music, classes, your job, scrapbooking, friends. They all keep you busy and help the days until his homecoming pass a little faster. However, there are still those few days a year when no matter how many people you’re surrounded by you can’t shake that lonely feeling deep inside, especially on New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, his birthday, your birthday, Independence Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the hardest holiday of all if you’re apart: your anniversary. But you get through it. Not because you have to, but because you want to. He’s worth it and somewhere deep inside you just know it.
Military girlfriends can especially have it rough. We aren’t formally recognized by the military so the additional perks a wife would get: cheaper airfare to go see him, access to more information, an increased paycheck for him. Girlfriends are denied those perks. Often, we know very little about where our men are, where they are going and when they are coming home, until just before it happens. Unless we’re born into a military family ourselves, we do not have access to military bases, where apparel and other goodies displaying your military pride can be purchased.
We sit, we wait, we wonder and we cry, and so many people wonder what for. They ask why we would wait and be alone when there are an abudnance of men available who could take us out, wine us and dine us, and show us just as good a time. Perhaps most importantly, why spend nine months waiting on someone who we aren’t even married to, whose ring we don’t even wear?
While there is no quick answer, many military girlfriends can narrow it down to two things: love and pride. You wait for your man because he loves you unconditionally. You wait for him because there is no pride greater than loving and supporting a man who serves your country. There’s something special about the way you fight back tears as you hear “The Star Spangled Banner” blast from the loudspeakers during football games. You wait because you know he’s coming home, and when he does, you know he’s coming home to you.
It’s tough enough being in a long-distance relationship, and “dating the military” definitely complicates it, but every kiss is like your first, and you learn the value of a phone call and just hearing the words “I love you”—things so many people take for granted. We wait because we know he’s waiting for you, and because his homecoming is always another day closer. We wait because there’s no stronger love than that found in military relationship. Unless you’re among the “silent ranks,” you’ll never know a greater feeling of happiness than meeting him at the airport after 350 long days, running into his arms and hearing him say “Baby, I’m home!”
Jackie Quattrocchi is a sophomore SMAD major.
