Darts & Pats
Posted on January 24, 2008
A “thanks-for-standing-us-up” dart to ABC Cab for leaving us stranded for three hours Saturday night, even though the operators claimed the driver was on his way.
From three senior girls who would prefer an honest “it’s-not-gonna-happen” instead of wasting their night waiting.
A “get-off-my-Quad” dart to the College of Arts and Letter communications section for getting the commencement on the quad for two years in a row.
From an English major who knows there’s no good reason why you don’t have to haul it to Hillside this year.
A “you-have-quite-the-gift-of-humor” dart to our mystery friends who stole every left shoe from our house.
From seven senior guys who would be more than happy to go to class in something other than their slippers any day now.
An “interfaith,-not-intercourse” dart to the two students getting it on in the Taylor Hall interfaith chapel Sunday.
From two freshmen who would rather watch this kind of thing in private rather than witness it in a public, holy place.
An “are-you-sure-you’re-getting-your-money’s-worth?” dart to the girl in my calculus class who spends the entire time texting people.
From a sophomore who would much rather hear what the professor is saying rather than the sound of your phone.
A “we-almost-fell-off-our-exercise-bikes-laughing” pat to the three guys that ran the wrong way on the UREC track Monday.
From two senior girls who felt like jerks for losing it, but were glad to see that someone else was having an “off” day.
An “it-would’ve-taken-me-two-more-seconds” dart to the driver who almost ran me over in front of Warren Hall.
From a junior who was already in the crosswalk when you arrived and hopes you know that she was flipping you the bird underneath her mitten.
A “boogie-woogie-woogie” pat to Highlawn for playing “The Electric Slide” on the dance floor.
From a senior who loved the choice in music and is so proud that everyone joined in.
A “thanks-for-being-so-polite-and-caring” dart to the Student Ambassadors.
From an already hurt sophomore who had to face a door with a letter of rejection on it and see her suitemate’s door covered in balloons and streamers for her acceptance.
A “your-selflessness-will-not-go-unrewarded” pat to the last winged unicorn for valiantly standing up against the powers of darkness and the demon king.
From your mom.
