Darts & Pats

Submit Your Own!

Posted on January 28, 2008

An “if-you-can-afford-a-car-alarm,-then-pay-my-rent” dart to the Stone Gate resident whose car alarm constantly goes off at all hours of the night.
From your neighbor who would rather listen to her roommate snoring than the 10 different sounds your car makes.

A “pull-ups-are-for-big-kids” dart to the girl on the drunk bus who couldn’t hold her bladder or her bad attitude.
From the three Mill residents you rudely told to get off the bus, who hope you wet your skirt again.

A “you-shouldn’t-have,-but-I’m-glad-you-did” pat to the kind gentleman who helped me carry tons of eggs up the ISAT stairs for my class.
From a biology major who was thankful you unscrambled her view on college guys.

A “why-are-you-so-complicated?” dart to our roommate who got us sick because you refuse to take medicine if it’s not organic.
From your roommates who think you should stop taking healing sprouts and charcoal tablets and try something that works.

A “you’re-not-encouraging-membership” dart to a member of Kappa Alpha who told a passerby to “f--- off” when he wouldn’t take a flyer from him on the commons.
From a junior who thinks you’re just some boys and not a brotherhood

A “feng-shui-this” dart to TDU, who will hopefully fix the mess that is the new furniture arrangement.
From a frustrated senior who finds it hard to relax in the comfy seats when they are right next to the espresso machines in Java City.

A “win-a-Super-Bowl,-then-we’ll-talk” dart to the Eagles fans on Route U, for getting everyone kicked off the bus because of your obnoxious chanting.
From a junior Redskins fan who can spell E-A-G-L-E-S and hopes that you can S-H-U-T U-P next time.

A “we-just-wanted-to-say-‘Hallo,-wij-ontbreken-jij’” pat to all our friends back in Harrisonburg, and we hope you’re living it up.
From everyone that’s loving life in The Monty in Antwerp, Belgium.

A “you-light-up-my-life” pat to my neighbor who changed the light bulb on my porch so I wouldn’t have to worry about getting in and out of my apartment at night.
From a junior who is thankful for your help because he’s a slacker when it comes to things like this.