Darts & Pats

Submit Your Own!

Posted on February 4, 2008

A “way-to-slip-up” dart to JMU officials for not delaying classes on Friday.
From an unhappy student with bruises and scraped-up hands from slipping after she had to wake up and go to classes in the extremely icy conditions.

An “I-know-the-real-reason-you-took-the-class” pat to the elderly men learning how to delete temporary internet files off their computerson last week’s front page.
From a junior who would not have gotten a lecture from his dad if he knew how to delete those scandalous Web sites.

An “I’m-blind!-I’m-deaf!-I-wanna-be-a-ref!” dart to the brainless and laughable referees at last Wednesday’s basketball game against William & Mary.
From an angry senior who will definitely be giving the NCAA a call so the Dukes can finally catch a break.

A “Bush’s-approval-rate-might-be-24-percent-but-I-bet-yours-is-lower” dart to the liberal professor who trashed a mug that was capped and tucked away.
From a student who expected more compassion from a fellow liberal and whose mug was a gift from her summer internship.

A “thanks-for-shaking-your-groove-thing” pat to the energetic residents of Wampler Hall who throw regular dance parties that all can see and hear.
From two seniors who always stop to dance on the Quad when we hear the music from your windows.

A “do you-have-anything-better-to-do?” dart to the disrespectful drunks who spent the majority of Wednesday afternoon smashing bottles outside our apartment.
From your neighbors who hope you pop your own tire on the glass before our nice maintenance people clean up after you.

A “do-I-need-the-extra-exercise?” dart to JMU for making JMU’s most spirited basketball fans park the farthest from the Convocation Center.
From a group of juniors who would rather get their daily workout at UREC than from walking to and from the basketball games.

A “what-happened-to-the-good-stuff?” dart to UPB for thinking T-Pain would be a good choice for the spring Convocation Center show.
From a senior who remembers once upon a time when UPB brought Black Eyed Peas, Taking Back Sunday, Jimmy Eat World and Guster to JMU.

A “maybe-the-kids-do-stand-a-chance” pat to the the rave review of the Vampire Weekend CD in Thursday’s issue of The Breeze.
From a junior girl who is relieved that maybe the population isn’t doomed to an eternity of Soulja Boy and Nickelback.

A “jaywalking-is-illegal-too” to the pedestrians who apparently think it’s OK to walk without a crosswalk into traffic.
From drivers on campus who can’t always see everyone popping out of the bushes.

An “all-science-nerds-should-be-so-cute” pat to my guitar-playing professor who had us sing in class to help us memorize Grignard reactions for our exam.
From a student who appreciates your enthusiasm and how you go the extra mile to help us understand one of the hardest classes JMU has to offer.

 A “why-don’t-you-clean-up-your-mess?” dart to the person in Memorial Hall who can’t make a cup of hot chocolate without spilling it all over the coffee machine in the Butterfly Café.
From one of many folks who frequent that machine daily who is appalled by your irresponsibility to leave it for the wonderful housekeeping staff to clean up.

 A “you-really-must-be-ninjas-for-getting-up-and-down-our-icy-stairs-without-getting-caught” pat to the cooking ninjas who left us cookies at 2 a.m. on Saturday.
From the maid who found the yummy cookies and wants to thank you.

  A “this-is-the-opposite-of-bed-rest” dart to JMU for not allotting more spots for patients going to the Health Center and expecting them to walk from far away when they are sick or injured.
From a sick senior who had to walk from Hillside just to get to see a doctor.