Christmas no longer worthy of celebration

The Writing on the Wall

We can all let out a collective sigh of relief — the holidays have finally come and gone. New Year’s Day ushers in not just empty promises of new beginnings, but the death knell for the holiday season, which in the case of Christmas, was birthed sometime after Labor Day.

Christmas is the most awful of the holidays. Even the jolliest of us can recognize a problem when cops must be pulled off the street to maintain order in Best Buy.

Therefore, in the absence of any redemptive aspect of the holiday outside of Wall Street, we as a society should officially end the celebration of Christmas.

Already, many of you are stomping around in indignant anger. “There are redemptive aspects!” you’re saying, as you demand to know “What about Christ?” My simple response is: What about him?

Christ is no more present in Christmas than France is in Iraq. Many public schools in New York City and elsewhere have banned the singing of Christmas carols at Christmastime — even instrumental versions. A Florida woman was fired from her job after singing a religious Christmas song at the office karaoke Christmas party. Schools in Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin have even prohibited the mention of the word “Christmas” because, for some reason, it contains the word “Christ.” The focus has instead shifted to us — particularly the sole individual in town who finds angels on streetlights to be a Constitutional violation.

There also is an absence of joy in the practice of gift giving. Long gone are the days when presents were exchanged to commemorate the birth of Christ. People give out of obligation; many pace up and down the mall formulating their shopping list based on who they think will be giving them gifts back. And be honest — often the gift is less for the receiver than it is for the image of the giver.

Christmas also manages to bring out the absolute best in everyone — just ask those of us who worked in retail over the break. Many of us have countless stories of all the joyous tidings customers brought us Christmas week, especially at places that make the mistake of offering free gift-wrapping.

And though there is a significant increase in volunteering and donating around the holiday season, it is only because we are thinking at that time of the year how good it would feel to volunteer or donate. The poor are no richer, nor the hungry more fed in July. It’s not about them — it’s about us getting our supply of warm fuzzies. Charity has become a Wal-mart, where we pick up philanthropic good spirit as though it were a garland.

In all reality, my battle cry for the immediate cessation of Christmas will most likely fall on deaf ears. We are far too in love with our masturbatory little holiday to let it go so easily. So let’s at least stop and take Christ out of Christmas once and for all. It would be a service. With all the pain, frustration and selfishness wrapped up for his birthday, Christ would be rolling around in his grave, had he stayed in there.

All that Christmas now brings is massive housecleaning, excessive spending and lines at the checkout counters. All that Christmas leaves is massive debt, excessive weight gain and lines at the return counters. As a holiday, it is no longer worth the trouble. Bah humbug.

Brian Goodman is a sophomore SCOM/history major.