Pat...
An “it’s-about-time-for-a-‘Men-of-Harrisonburg’-calendar” pat to the night drivers.

From a couple of late-night ladies who already know one is a great kisser.

Dart...
A “way-to-be-considerate-of-others” dart to the owner of the Eclipse who had his or her car alarm go off from 2 a.m. until 9 a.m. when it was towed away.

From a neighbor who didn’t appreciate being kept up the entire night because you decided to put a car alarm in a car that didn’t need it.

Dart...
A “thanks-for-entertaining-me-with-your-melodrama” dart to the girl outside my apartment window who was yelling and sobbing relentlessly while fighting with her boyfriend on Thursday evening.

From a girl who thinks you should learn how to chill out and act civilized, or at the least wait until you are indoors before you verbally attack your boyfriend.

Dart...
A “way-to-let-the-glory-go-to-your-head” dart to those football players who — after receiving a standing ovation at half time — left the basketball game early.

From two fans who believe you should have returned the support shown to you all season by cheering the basketball team on to victory.

Pat...
A “way-to-counter-the-rotation-of-the-earth” pat to the girl who walked around in circles to try to make the room stop spinning one late night.

From your roommate, who admires your logic.

Dart...
A “grow-a-set-of-balls” dart to the guy who was being screamed at and cried on by his girlfriend outside my apartment window on Thursday evening.

From a girl who heard the entire thing and thinks that you should know better and have more self respect than to put up with such crap.