One Piece at a Time

Interracial dating puzzles some while earning acceptance with others

A hundred years ago, relationships between two people of different races sparked controversy and discomfort. Today, one needn't look hard to find evidence of an interracial dating scene. Web sites and chat rooms — such as www.singlesites.com/InterracialDating.htm — are dedicated to interracial couples. Movies like "Save the Last Dance" brought the situation onscreen, and couples like Kobe and Vanessa Bryant brought interracial dating into popular culture.

"When people think about interracial dating, they always think 'black guy, white girl,'" senior Lindsey Chilcutt said. "It's not always that way."

Chilcutt's dating history shows that interracial dating isn't always African-American and white. Chilcutt is Caucasian and has dated Caucasians, African-Americans and a Cambodian.

Sophomore Kimberly Ortiz and her boyfriend, junior Anwar Siddiqui, who both have similarly dark skin, said they don't stand out as much as other couples may.

"Black and white is obvious to look at," said Ortiz, who is half Puerto Rican. "Since we have the same type of complexion, I think it might make people think it's OK more."

Siddiqui, who is half Italian and half Persian, said, "Interracial dating stands out more by the color of skin than the nationality."

He said he feels the interracial scene at JMU is "pretty sad" because it's not very diverse.

For example, according to the JMU Office of Institutional Research, only 11 percent of the JMU population includes minority students. Some students point to diversity at JMU as a factor in the small number of interracial couples on campus.

"If there was more diversity, there could maybe be more interracial dating," senior Denise Machonis said.

Machonis has had relationships with other Caucasians, African-Americans, a Puerto Rican and an Italian.

"My first boyfriend in fourth grade was black," Machonis said. "I don't find myself really attracted to anyone [now] but blacks and whites, although I wouldn't exclude anyone else."

Chilcutt said, "I'm more attracted to black guys, but I don't rule out anyone."

Chilcutt believes her family supports her in regards to dating interracially.

"My mom and dad couldn't care less," Chilcutt said, "as long as I like him and am happy."

Siddiqui said his parents are "indifferent" to his relationships, while Ortiz said hers are "used to it."

"My parents dated interracially, and it was a huge issue," she said. "They're very concerned about how it will affect me because they had so many problems. My grandparents hated my dad; they didn't want him to marry my mom because he was Puerto Rican. They didn't even go to my parents' wedding."

Machonis feels her situation is different. While she believes her family is open-minded, she also feels they are concerned about what other people will think.

"They're not used to it," Machonis said. "I'm the first person in my family to [date interracially]."

In the United States, the international dating scene is still in its toddler stages, as can be seen by the attitude toward interracial marriages. As late as 1950, interracial marriages were banned in 30 states. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled in 1967 that those bans were unenforceable, according to www.cnn.com. Today, there are more than 450,000 African-American-white marriages, compared with 51,000 in 1960, according to the Current Population Survey, a survey of households taken every month, according to www.bls.gov. The survey is conducted by the Bureau of Census for the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Sometimes interracial dating can precipitate problems. "People would talk — especially the girls," Chilcutt said. "I've gone on dates where we get stares or I sense people talking [about us]. I don't let it get to me."

Some of the girls who chose to date interracially said they have experienced bias in one way or another.
"Someone asked about me," Machonis said, "and the girl that lived next to me said, 'She only dates black guys.' There are lots of generalizations [like that]."

Some of the students who have experienced interracial dating named several factors that may affect an individual's dating preferences.

Chilcutt believes a person's background could influence his or her choice of romantic partners.

"My high school was so diverse," she said. "It depends on where you're from, where you grew up. Many people are not exposed to other races until they get [to college]."

Ortiz said she believes dating "has a lot to do with parents," while Siddiqui places responsibility on "the environment a person was exposed to."

"Many variables affect [dating preferences]," he said. "I mean, the United States is primarily Caucasian, and it also depends on where you live — urban or rural."

The census conducted in 2000 by the U.S. Census Bureau found that 77.1 percent of the entire population of the United States is Caucasian, according to www.census.gov/population/.

According to Machonis, mixing cultures can be hard, but interesting.

"We're brought up totally different [in each culture]," she said. "Even not talking about dating, we have completely different lifestyles."

Society's increased reception of racially diverse couples might be an indicator of improving race relations, according to Machonis.

"If no one else thought twice [about interracial dating], I wouldn't either," Machonis said.

Chilcutt feels that acceptance of interracial dating is a step in the right direction.

In the end, interracial dating comes down to something much simpler than prejudice, race, conflict, acceptance, diversity and public opinion.

"Dating is just about two people liking each other," Chilcutt said. "It's about who they are, not what they are."