New group supports friends of assault victims

Educating students and assisting them to cope with sexual assault, rape and dating violence, the Office of Sexual Assault Prevention has established support groups for primary and secondary victims of sexual assault.

The groups that currently exist are the Sexual Assault Survivors' Support Group, for female survivors of sexual assault, and the One in Four Men's Group, an all-male group on campus dedicated to decreasing the incidences of rape and sexual assault.

A new group has been formed — the Friends of Survivors' Support Group — which is a secondary group for men who are friends or family members of a victim of sexual assault, according to the OSAP's Web site, www.jmu.edu/assaultprev/Support.shtml.

"The secondary groups are being developed for young men who have sisters, friends and girlfriends who were raped or sexually assaulted, and are looking for ways to deal with their feelings," said Hillary Wing-Richards, associate director of the OSAP and the Women's Resource Center.

The Friends of Survivors' Support Group allows young men to sit and vent with other young men so they can know how to talk to the victim and offer her support, according to Wing-Richards. Secondary groups are in the works, as soon as four or five men want to start the group, she said.

According to Salmaan Khawaja, an assistant at the OSAP and the graduate adviser to One in Four, there have been male secondary survivors who have been dealing with some of the intense emotions about having a friend who has been a victim and not knowing how to deal with them.

"Emotions, like anger especially, come up with male secondary survivors and, to date, there really haven't been any resources available on this campus for this population," he said. "We thought it would be a good idea to provide access for secondary survivors as well. This group is also open to male survivors."

Many men originally may be hesitant about joining groups like these because they may feel that it is "‘unmanly' to have to lean on others for support," Khawaja said. "This, however, is not the case, and most men who have joined secondary support groups do find incredible amounts of personal courage and strength after becoming members, and also learn how to be a better friend to the survivor of rape or sexual assault."

Members are free to come and go as they please, but active and continued participation is encouraged by the OSAP, as it facilitates the group process. Any male interested in joining the Friends of Survivors' Support Group can e-mail Khawaja at khawajsa or call the OSAP at x8-3407, ext. 3.

The last thing a survivor needs is to be told what to do — instead, she needs compassion and somebody to listen and understand her, according to Wing-Richards. All information is kept confidential, with members being asked to sign a contract not to discuss any information from their groups. Meetings are held in confidential locations.

"Since 98 to 99 percent of members of the group have been victimized and are scared, it offers them a comfort zone," she said.

The Sexual Assault Survivors' Support Group is specifically for women who are survivors of sexual assault. The group provides an opportunity to grow through listening and sharing experiences related to sexual assault and the healing process, according to DeLani Holmberg, graduate assistant for the OSAP and the WRC, and a co-facilitator for the Sexual Assault Survivors' Support Group.

"Knowing that you are not alone and having a safe and confidential environment to address issues encountered by survivors of sexual assault are very powerful aspects of this particular type of group," she said. "The locations and times of the meetings are only given to the group members. It is an open group, so new members are welcome throughout the school year."

According to Christine Spilman, assistant coordinator for the OSAP and the WRC, what a support group can offer to an individual dealing with a sexual assault experience is that she is with other people who have experienced similar situations.

"It helps survivors to feel that they are not alone," she said. "The Sexual Assault Survivors' Support Group is for people who may be dealing with a sexual assault situation or who may have been involved in a situation in the past," she said.

Those interested in becoming involved in the Sexual Assault Survivors' Support Group, can contact Holmberg at holmbedm or x8-3407, ext. 2 or Spilman at wuerthcx.

Although groups start at the beginning of the semester, individuals can join at any point during the year, according to Wing-Richards. She said that some only attend a meeting or seek counseling once and never return to the OSAP — and that, nationally, less than 2 percent of sexual assault victims report the incident.

"I let [those who come to us] know their options — criminal, judicial, medical, counseling with me or another staff member, a support group — I have a list that I go down and check off to make sure that I don't miss anything and ask them, ‘Which option sounds safe to you?'" she said.

Students can become involved with the OSAP, the WRC or One in Four by stopping at Warren Hall, room 404, or participating in one of the OSAP's various projects, such as the Clothesline Project, Take Back the Night, or calling the office at x8-3407.

Students also can learn more about sexual assault support groups on the Web at www.jmu.edu/assaultprev.