Slide down slopes on sleds, students need not steal trays
House Editorial
Once more, Dining Services, which garnered a
No. 18 — in the country ranking for best college food, has
come up with a brilliant new concept. This time it steps outside
the realm of food to a new marketing venture — PC Dukes now
is selling two different types of saucer sleds, which can be purchased
for $5 and $10 at the register.
One of the best parts is that these sleds can be
purchased using Dining Dollars, FLEX and cash. That's right, Dining
Dollars — the Monopoly money of the campus' monetary system.
Instead of putting Dining Dollars on JAC cards, it should come in
the form of orange, pink and blue dollar bills.
This was a brilliant marketing idea. PC Dukes wins
on every level of game. The obvious reason for the sale of sleds
at PC Dukes is an effort to stymie the theft of dining trays to
be used as sleds on the slopes of ISAT and on other areas of JMU's
hilly campus. Actual sleds are a much better alternative to trays,
which honestly don't cut the cake.
By selling sleds, PC Dukes can cut down on the
theft of these trays. If students continue to steal trays, PC Dukes
has grounds to hold it over their heads because it provided them
an alternative. The students have the option of coming clean by
purchasing actual sleds and putting an end to of their involvement
in the sinister underworld of tray pilfering.
Not only does this new idea cut down on the theft
of sleds, but PC Dukes also can turn a profit on the days preceding
a wintery weather forecast. The sleds yield a minimal profit, while
helping to deplete students' Dining Dollars or FLEX accounts.
The money spent on sleds also is money not spent
on food — food that has the potential to spoil and lead to
a overall loss. The sleds don't spoil so there is no margin for
loss based on a food order that wasn't covered by student consumption.
So, as you stealthily plan a cleverly orchestrated
diversion for escaping the grasp of Dining Services employees with
your tray, consider coming out of the darkness by buying your own
space saucer. Step into the light, my friend, and onto the slope.
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