Husband search not point of college

The Writing on the Wall

The numbers are in, and they’re good for Victoria’s Secret: the ratio of females to males at JMU this year is 65 to 35 percent.

This comes as no surprise to anyone who actually has been on the school grounds. It doesn’t take much to realize that there are two girls for every guy on this campus.

The statistics present quite a few realities that must be dealt with. Girls’ bathrooms have even longer lines than are typical. The bookstore is entirely self-sufficient based on sales of shorts with writing on the butt. The zoning board of Harrisonburg has their hands full enforcing archaic brothel laws. And, most importantly, it statistically is impossible for every girl at JMU to meet her husband at JMU before she also meets her cap and gown.

Since the advent of co-ed education, marriage has been a school institution, and very little has changed since. There remains significant societal pressure on college-age women to make a wedding ring a graduation prerequisite, which means that a good half of the female population here will not marry a male JMU student. There just aren’t enough guys to go around.

This leaves the ladies in a somewhat precarious position. The wise women bide their time and wait for the men to be men and come to them, or they simply don’t care. Many look elsewhere to see where all the cowboys have gone. But the rest lessen themselves to the status of meat, hoping at least one hungry man will cross their path.

In order to be a more successful slab of beef, girls take a two-step approach. The first step is to accept a lower quality guy than they truly deserve. It seems that many girls here have reached the point that anyone will suffice. Women who should have been holding out for men instead will settle for boys with arm hair.

The second step is to denigrate themselves by spending exorbitant amounts of money on black pants and tops which would have fit when they were three years old. Corsets have been replaced by the halter top, in essence a wrap-around censor bar. Waitresses at Hooters are better protected from the elements than that.

The natural result of women denigrating themselves is, surprisingly, the denigration of women. When women dress like prostitutes and settle for "men" who are looking for prostitutes, they cannot be surprised when they are treated like prostitutes. It would be just as absurd, as Dave Chapelle says, for me to dress up as a cop and then be shocked that people expect me to help them.

All that pressure and pain is to find "the one"— because if girls aren’t engaged by the ripe old age of 22, they’ve failed. It realistically is impossible for all of the girls who try to find their husband here to be successful, but there is enough pressure on them that they may die trying.

Brian Goodman is an undeclared sophomore.