Dart...
A "way-to-be-Oscar-the-Grouch" dart to the person who decided to light my guitar on fire and throw it into the dumpster.

From a ticked-off music major who will now either be broke or fail his classes because of your stupidity.

Pat...
A "way-to-take-one-for-the-team" pat to the girl who wore the bath towel around campus yesterday because she obviously lost a Yankee/Red Sox bet.

From a senior baseball fan who hates your team, but admires your team spirit.

Dart...
A "thanks-but-I-already-shaved-tonight" dart to the jerk that sprayed shaving cream all over me in retaliation for a bathroom prank that I didn’t commit.

From an ex-friend who doesn’t think your insincere online apology makes up for the embarrassment you caused and encourages you to attend anger-management courses.

Pat...
A "way-to-keep-things-interesting" pat to my friend who claims to be turned on by 99 percent of the male population here at JMU.

From a friend who thinks she may have created a monster.

Pat...
A "you’re-a-good-sport-and-a-tough-contender" pat to my roommate.

From a senior who is so sorry he accidentally round-house kicked you in the face and who now realizes that women are tougher than he is.

Pat...
A "it’s-friends-like-you-that-make-JMU-such-a-great-place-to-be" pat to my amazing friend who went back to the Quad at 4 a.m. on his birthday so I could drive to work the next day.

From your friend who wishes you had gotten to her underwear before the lawn mower, but wants you to know she appreciates your friendship more than you know.