Halloween not made for older children
Breeze Perspectives
It’s that time of year again. The leaves are changing color, they’re
selling orange and black bagels at Mr. J’s Bagels and Deli and college
students are swarming the "Seasonal" aisle at Wal-mart in search
of that perfect glow-in-the-dark "Scream" mask to celebrate
Oct. 31 — Halloween.
Here’s one thing I just don’t get, though: I’m trying
to comprehend why 20-somethings still insist on dressing up and going
out trick-or-treating. On a night that should be set aside for elementary
school children and "Blair Witch Project" fanatics, college
students flock to the residential areas of Harrisonburg in search of a
sugary handout. Why?
For me, it’s like attempting to figure out some sort of deep meaning
behind a Maroon 5 video — I’m puzzled. Sorry, but I’m pretty
sure it might be time to just stay inside, rent "Freddy vs. Jason,"
pop some kettle corn in the TV lounge microwave and chill with your friends
for the evening. Besides, Halloween falls on a Sunday this year —
shouldn’t we all be (ahem) studying or some responsible thing like
that? Well, that idea might be a bit far-fetched, but if you must go out,
couldn’t you at least perform some sort of sensible prank involving
shaving cream and those funny blackhead removing strips for your nose?
Not that I’ve ever tried those, but anything is better than seeing
a sophomore girl dressed up like Raggedy Anne and carrying an American
Eagle bag in search of free candy corn.
Don’t get me wrong, I love free candy as much as any other red-blooded
American, but I have to draw the line at a tradition that needs to be
reserved for those who pick their nose in public, pee their pants in class
and eat paste straight from the jar. If this is you at age 21, please
seek counseling — they might provide some type of aide for you at
the University Health Center. Or they might just send you home with cough
syrup and gauze wrap.
My point simply is this: Let’s leave the streets and campus clear
of costume-clad college students and give the fourth graders a shot at
all the fun-size 3 Musketeers this year. It’s their time out there
and they shouldn’t be interrupted. However, I do realize that some
of you still might want to dress up and maybe, I don’t know, go to
church in an outfit of some kind. That’s perfectly all right. In
fact, I actually am planning on wearing all white, putting on an orange
knit cap, and pinning a piece of notebook paper to my chest that reads,
"I Am a Jelly Donut." As long as we think about the children
on Halloween and let them rule the streets, JMU and the greater Rockingham
County area will be a better place — I promise.
Calvin Abbott is an affiliate of James Madison University.
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