Emotional detachment in hookup situations may be farce, impossible

Sex in the suburbs

Casual dating seems to be pretty much nonexistent on this college campus. It seems like people either are involved in a serious, committed relationship or nothing at all. Where does that leave those of us who aren’t involved in either?

Here’s my concern — are we really capable of emotional detachment from the person with whom we are intimate? Feelings are inevitable.

What happens, though, when these supposed one-time affairs turn into something more? And no, I’m not talking about a traditional, blossoming relationship. Sometimes, two people continually hook up, but leave out all the other components of a true relationship — no romantic feelings, no presents, no nightly phone calls.

My friends and I have deemed this the "hookup buddy."

And as appealing as I’m sure this sounds to some people, there are serious issues that must be considered when having such a friend. So, is having a hookup buddy ever a good idea?

Yes and no. After talking to some of my guy friends, they assured me that they would have no problem whatsoever keeping physical and emotional aspects of such a relationship separate.

My girlfriends, on the other hand, had a different take. While many of them liked the idea of an emotionally free relationship, they didn’t think they would be able to keep themselves from developing stronger feelings for the guy if the relationship continued indefinitely.

"Typically, one person may get more attached than the other," junior Christina Porter said. "Being close like that can send a lot of mixed signals that some girls just aren’t prepared to deal with."

Junior Shannon Perry said jealousy plays a huge factor with girls. "So many girls get jealous if they see some guy talking to another girl after they’ve been together," she said. "[Girls] just always think there’s some stronger connection than there usually is, and they end up getting hurt."

As for me — I’m still deciding. I couldn’t help myself from developing feelings for a guy with whom I consistently was hooking up. I couldn’t hook up with someone random. If I started having romantic feelings for him, I feel like I would be confusing my feelings of friendship for something more.

Also, if you were already friends with this person, the relationship may become more complicated.

"Don’t let yourself get emotionally attached," junior Natalie Ireland said. "Being friendly is fine ... but don’t invest too much feeling into anything."

This could get really messy, really fast. If you’re not dating the person, you can’t expect them to come running when you call. You can’t get jealous if they talk to another guy or girl — they’re under no obligation to you.

Unless there is a clear-cut definition of the relationship, there’s ample room for trouble. But if a couple takes the time to define the relationship, isn’t there some sort of emotional investment there?

Ireland seems to think that defining the relationship doesn’t necessarily mean there is one.

"[You just have to] make it clear that it’s strictly physical," Ireland said.

Even after writing this article, I don’t know where I stand on the issue of hookup buddies.

If you can handle the delicate nature of this type of relationship and still maintain your sanity, great. With my guy friends, I think I’ll steer clear of anything that’s not platonic.