Sex in the Suburbs

Our lives, their fantasy

What is something most of us have dreaded, suffered through, studied through, slept through and/or stumbled through oblivious? No, not GenEd. Freshman year. We've all seen 'em this year — they're easy to pick out. They're the only ones with matching socks, clean hair and, to some extent, innocence. Upperclassmen are the survivors, the victors — and freshmen? Well, they're the blind and the free. Upperclassmen have seen some of the worst human nature has to offer. The belligerently drunk eyes of an overly friendly male at a party, the female who has so little respect for herself she can't say no, D-hall dessert on Sundays — these are all just some examples of what upperclassmen have survived. What is unclear to me, however, is why the outside world views college students as, well, alcoholic nymphomaniacs. Instead, I think it all comes from a misunderstanding of what can happen when you're young, excitable and very inexperienced.

During freshman year, many students arrive full of enthusiasm, dread and a feeling of complete and utter boundlessness. For many, this is the first excursion out from behind mother's apron and father's knowing stare. At first it's exhilarating — not having to tell anyone where you're going, who you're seeing and what you're doing. Now you don't have to change your clothes because Dad thinks your skirt is too short or take a shower because Mom says you're too scrubby. But, as always, with the newfound freshman freedom comes responsibility. And also, with freedom comes recklessness — the female college freshman is at the highest risk of sexual assault between the first day of school and Thanksgiving break, according to Facts on Tap, a Web site addressing the role of alcohol in college life (www.factsontap.org).

Obviously, things happen on a college campus the same way they do in the real world. As for myself, the realization that accountability followed me from home came only after a period of complete mental chaos. All of a sudden there was no angel (Mom) on the shoulder saying "You're going to regret that in the morning." There was only my devil saying, "Do it. No one cares here. You're in college — live a little." Living a "little" turned into more than I care to remember (or even could remember). And so guilt enters the scene — and who needs that?

Eventually the college freshman reaches the "Did I really do that?" stage. Whether it was sex, drugs, alcohol or procrastination, eventually if they live "the life" they'll hit the wall. Junior Adam Crest* said that four or five freshman females hooked up with his roommates and that a few had returned after the hook up, wanting to know if the individuals involved were going to start a relationship now. The roommates simply responded, "Welcome to college." I can only assume that response was the wall those freshmen hit.

Sometimes, unfortunately, the wall is approached every weekend (or Thursday night) until the common sense that he or she was born with finally clicks on and it's remembered — from those foggy, almost forgotten, days of Before College — I do have a brain, I'm not a slave to my desires and I don't have to start my own Club Drunk.

As a freshman, though, experimentation and boundary testing is normal. It doesn't make one Satan reborn, despite what media, parents and family may tell you.

So what's the general history of the average college student? Over the years, the proportion of college students that have sex has increased. In the pre-World War I era, one-third of men engaged in premarital intercourse. Between 1915 and 1930, the number of college women who engaged in intercourse had tripled to about one-fourth of the college female population, according to James Davis, author of "Going to College," a general overview of college-related issues published in 1977.

As odd and disturbing as this may seem, these are our grandparents we're talking about. Even back in Granddad's time, the number of college kids having sex was increasing — so at least we don't have to worry about starting the trend. Since our grandparents' time, the number of sexually active collegians has continued on an upward trend. In 1991, about two-thirds of male freshmen (66.3 percent) and slightly more than one-third of female freshmen (37.9 percent) supported the idea of sex between people who have known one another for only a short time, according to Texans for Life Coalition, a pro-life organization (www.texlife.org).

Interestingly enough, the assumption that college men are notorious for their supposed virility may be false. The percentage of males ages 16 to 25 at a college-level education who engage in sexual intercourse was about one-third lower than the figure of their less-educated male counterparts, according to Charles Havice, editor of "Campus Values: Some Considerations for Collegians," a book published in 1971 based on the Russell B. Stearns Study of Northeastern University. In other words, their buddies back home who don't go to college are getting more play than them. Not that it matters.

"The image of large numbers of college students sleeping around, indiscriminately indulging in sex for kicks and pleasure without any concern for consequences or permanence appears to reflect more the frustrated yearnings of writers and readers than it does actual campus life," Havice states.

College students generally become significantly less stereotypic in their beliefs and more receptive to new ideas, according to "Going To College," and why do you think that is? It's because we've made our mistakes (especially as freshmen). The great thing about college is that you can live to tell about it. Those people who consider college students hedonistic and those upperclassmen who sneer at freshmen may just be a little jealous that freshmen have more fun than others. And that's the way it should be. I'm glad I'll always be a freshmen at heart.

* Name has been changed