Pat...
A "there-are-nice-guys-out-there" pat to the freshman who paid for a really sick, puking stranger to take a cab back to campus.

From three sophomore girls who had no money and no idea what to do with a random guy after his friends abandoned him.

Dart...
A "get-your-own-porn" dart to whomever stole the fabulous valentine Playgirl collage off my door after my friends worked so hard to create it.

From a very upset freshman who would very much like her valentine returned.

Pat...
A "you're-gonna-get-rocked" pat to the employees of two dining locations who are going to be wishing they never challenged the "king" of all dining locations to a beer pong tournament.

From a dining employee who will be there to wipe your tears after we kick your butts.

Dart...
A "thanks for reminding us that there's no such thing as forever" dart to Mattel, which recently decided that it was time for Barbie and Ken to split. Apparently, breakups are now safe to talk about with 6-year-olds.

From two very disappointed seniors who grew up on the romantic fantasy of Barbie and Ken's commitment.

Pat...
A "why do you have to be so incredible" pat to the girl who I wish I could have met before the other guy did.

From a guy who gladly would spend a lifetime waiting for a girl like you.

Dart...
A "why don't you be more observant" dart to the person who obviously doesn't notice that my dog doesn't like being outside due to previous years of being abused.

From someone who rescued her dog from a humane society, and thinks that you should find something better to do with your time than spy on her dog's peeing habits.