Pat...
A "you-are-my-heroes" pat to the two guys who tried to protect me from the raging girls on the bus Saturday night.

From a shaken-up sophomore who was grateful to have you there when the police came too late.

Dart...
A "thanks-for-the-surprise" dart to the people who decided my car needed an expletive written in ranch dressing on the rear window.

From a disgruntled senior who shall avenge his dressing-covered car.

Pat...
A "you give me hope for the dean's list" pat to the snow for causing school cancellations and, consequently, deadline extensions.

From an absent-minded senior who frequently forgets her professors sometimes assign schoolwork.

Dart...
A "can't you think of a more romantic place to do the deed" dart to the couple who left a used condom in the best shower in our dorm.

From a group of grossed-out girls who think their hallmate needs to stick to her bedroom.

Pat...
A "you bring new meaning to the word 'kidnapping'" pat to the girl who drove me to class across campus in the ice and snow last week.

From a freshman with a broken foot whose journeys from the College Center for the last two weeks have been less than enjoyable.

Dart...
A "keep-it-down"dart to our inconsiderate roommate who plays the guitar and sings like a girl in the wee hours of the morning in order to sway freshmen girls into spending the night and then cooks them breakfast with our food.

From three broke seniors who can't afford to feed themselves, let alone your poor butt.