Dressing others for dating success

Fashion Boss

For most of you, the following scenario may sound oddly familiar. You invited your hot new flavor of the month over to meet your friends, parents, etcetera for the first time. He or she shows up, and — to your utter horror and embarrassment — your significant other looks as though he or she got dressed in the dark, or, worse yet, got dressed without the Fashion Boss's divine approval.

You then spend the next couple days pondering the future of your relationship with him or her. Although you care for the person, his or her choice of clothes regularly is horrendous and makes you cringe. On the other hand, the style of a person's clothes is, in many ways, a part of his or her personality. As clothes undeniably reflect a particular personality, any change to or criticism of one's clothing could result in hurt feelings. Despair not, for there are simple ways to improve your cutie's appearance without harming or attempting to change who he or she is.

In my experience, some misguided fashion victims start with good intentions, and then lose control completely as soon as they see a "clearance" sign in a store window. They then proceed to buy clothes no matter how hideous or ill-fitting. These people like shopping and clothes, yet they hate spending cash. Help your honey overcome this problem by pointing out the many sales at good, quality clothing stores — at ones that have private dressing rooms. Steer fashionphobes toward these stores during the end-of-summer and after-Christmas clearance sales — when trendy clothes will be at their cheapest. Some nonchalant things you could say to your beau or belle include, "Gee, honey, look how much cuter this outfit is than all the other crap you wear. And look — it's on sale." If you want to boost your significant other's ego, try a flattering comment such as, "Look, these pants are 20 percent off — and I bet they'd show off your butt."

Perhaps your love bug is one of those free-spirited types who has been to one too many Phish concerts. These fashion wannabes' quirky style can be harnessed without major repercussions. Help them focus on one aspect of their wardrobe and build the rest of their look with basic styles. For example, let's say your girl loves goofy belts. Encourage her to pair her wild belts with simple pants and shirts, so that the belt is the focus of the ensemble.

When people wear too many wild pieces at once, the uniqueness of each piece is lost, and the ensemble turns into one blurry mess. On the other extreme, your cutie could be a goth who wears, eats, etcetera, only black. Not that there is anything wrong with this style — for instance, what if a "Matrix" convention came to JMU? Your hottie already would be dressed for the occasion. In this case, gently explain to the goth love of your life that the lack of color might make your parents think he or she is in a cult. If this fails, sneak all his or her clothes out of the closet and replace them with colorful clothes. I'm sure he or she won't mind.

Perhaps your cutie simply wanted to impress your friends and family so badly that he or she sort of overshot it by dressing up for a casual event or vice versa. Prevent this mistake from happening again by informing your date of the tone of the occasion beforehand. Tell your date what you will be wearing too, so he or she can use your outfit as a guide when assembling his or her own.

In general, you can follow my example and tell your love interest that his or her clothes would serve better as kindle for a bonfire. Or, you could take the subtle approach and start small by shopping with your significant other and pointing out what you think would look hot or sexy on him or her. Afterwards, buy your fashion-clueless lover gifts of clothes that are fashionable, yet reflect his or her personality and style. If these tips do cause drama, I suggest you dump your boyfriend or girlfriend and move on, for there always are better-dressed fish in the sea.