Single girls: Don’t be ‘disposable,’ be unique

Sex in the Suburbs

If you have been a JMU female for at least five minutes, you know about "the ratio." Just in case you do not, I mean that women outnumber the men here about 3-1.

Recently, a male friend of mine mentioned the ratio and described JMU women as "disposable." Imagine my anger as a frustrated, single gal. So what’s a girl to do?

I have had countless conversations with my single girlfriends about our dating woes and what guys really want. Let’s face it — for some, guys are just as confusing to us as we supposedly are to them.

While my tidbits of knowledge are based on only these confessions, suggestions from Cosmopolitan magazine and my new favorite book "He’s Just Not That Into You," I feel that I have heard enough to come up with at least a guess on what kind of approach to take to have more success in the dating realm.

I watched a recent episode of the new television show, "Grey’s Anatomy," which brought up an interesting point: maybe the attraction that some of us experience is all about the thrill of the chase. Face it — a confident and sometimes unavailable member of the opposite sex is usually more appealing than a clingy one.

I see that some people find it annoying to suddenly have somebody in their life all the time. In a way, this can be met with irritation and can lead you to withdraw more from that person.

The way I see it, if JMU women are so "disposable" and outnumbering, then why would a JMU man want a relationship? Thus begins many a conversation of single girls.

I have been out there in the "battlefield," as have my friends, and I have seen many females either be too clingy or move too fast, thus eliminating any kind of mystery left over for a possible relationship.

So when a few of my friends and I tried not to move too fast and to not be as available, guess what happened? We found some good guys that pursued us. The irony of it all is that we did not want those men. The good guys usually will turn out to be the clingy ones.

My point is sometimes people go for members of the opposite sex that are wrong for them. They may seem appealing simply because they are unavailable. Sometimes their supposed unavailability is really a cover-up for not being interested.

Of course, you can never categorize every male or female. Maybe my friends and I have just met the wrong kind of guys that only want one thing. Maybe some people have already tried this approach and it has not worked.

I think that men and women will always be trying to figure out members of the opposite sex. I do not know if I ever will know the best way to catch a good guy, but I have learned one thing: everyone is different.

It may be simple, but I think we often forget that if we go for one type or take one approach — which usually end up unsuccessful — then it usually will continue to be an endless cycle.

My advice to all of you single women and men is to try and change things up if they are not working for you in the dating area. Be unique and be yourself. After all, no one wants to be described as "disposable."