Pat...
A "you-are-glorious" pat to the naked kids relaxing in their van outside of the Festival on Saturday night. All I needed was a lighter, but I got a flash instead.

From a sophomore guy who no longer needs to be reminded why he goes to JMU.

Dart...
A "thanks-for-ruining-my-dignity" dart to the girl who gave me the huge hickies last Saturday.

From a sophomore guy who can’t wait to go to class all week with his seven new "friends" on his body.

Pat...
A "thanks-for-going-out-of-your-way" pat to the guy who walked from Festival to Greek Row to return my cell phone last Thursday.

From a careless — but very appreciative — sophomore who is glad there are dependable people in the world like you.

Dart...
A "thanks-for-having-an-inconvenient-birthday" dart to a friend who just had to be born on a day when I couldn’t join the party.

From a senior who hopes you have fun bashing the piñata without me.

Pat...
A "thanks-for-the-free-peep-show" pat to the girl who left her window open while she was having sex last week for all of our apartment complex to see.

From your roommates, who love your craziness and think the apartment will be rather quiet next year when we graduate.

Dart...
A "thanks-for-scarring-me" dart to the boys behind the library who go couldn’t wait to go "wee, wee, wee" until they got home.

From a senior girl who was not happy to see the mark you left behind on JMU, and who will be especially cautious on her next trip to the library.