Balancing Act

Student acclimates to life as mother, scholar

Imagine a day in the life of a typical 20-year-old — classes, books, tests and socializing. Now add the course load and social life to the needs of a lively, energetic child and suddenly life isn’t so typical. This is the life of a college mother.

Junior Marquita Cubbage is not only a full-time student working on a marketing degree; she also is a full-time mother. Besides attending classes, Cubbage has a job at Anna Joy’s Bridal and Formal where she works at least 30 hours a week. She also has a 4-year-old daughter, A’lanah, to support. Her fiancé, DeMarcus Morrison also brings a 5-year-old son, Tyrese, and 2-year-old daughter, D’Mya, into the family.

"I have different things I have to think about than normal college students," Cubbage said. "I’m not going to school for myself, but for my family also."

What most JMU students consider to be their typical daily routine is only a small fraction of Cubbage’s schedule. Her Monday, Wednesday and Friday schedule seems to be the most crammed. "I wake up at 6:45 in the morning and get A’lanah and Tyrese ready, then I drop A’lanah off at school," Cubbage said. Only then is she able to return and get herself ready for a full day of classes. "I leave straight from class to pick A’lanah up, play with them a little bit and then go to work from about [4 to 9 p.m.],"

Cubbage said. After returning home from work, Cubbage is free to do her homework and that is after she puts the children to bed.

Though some days are difficult, there’s nothing Cubbage would change. "My mind and body are fresh at this age, and I have the energy now to do these things that I wouldn’t if I had waited until I was older," Cubbage said. "I really believe if I did not have A’lanah, I would not be as determined to do well in college as I am." Even at 20, she said her age isn’t hindering. "Although I had A’lanah when I was young, I still want to provide for her the same way as older parents who are more emotionally, financially and spiritually stable do," Cubbage said.

Cubbage does not have to face these rigorous days alone — there are many helpful people in her life. "I definitely get help from my fiancé, my mother, local family and friends," Cubbage said. There also is another significant source in Cubbage’s life from which she draws her strength. "I have been very blessed by God and he is my driving force.I give all the glory and credit to God because, without Him, nothing I have done so far would have been possible," she said.

Cubbage’s fiancé, DeMarcus, said that he would not change anything about his and Cubbage’s situation. "…What some people view as a mistake, we find the good, and put our trust in God," he said. He does recognize the complexity of their situation, however. "We have to have time management, and that’s something we’re both good at." Cubbage and Morrison feel confident about facing their challenges as a team. "We’re there to pick each other up," DeMarcus said.

Cubbage received two scholarships from the College of Business, but financially, having a child has affected her life tremendously. "You think about car payments, day care fees, baby clothes, food … it all adds up. Once a child comes along, you have to become less selfish," Cubbage said.

The Harrisonburg community offers many organizations dedicated to helping young mothers and fathers adapt to becoming parents, such as the Harrisonburg Pregnancy Center. "The girls coming here are coming mostly for the free pregnancy test. Once they have become our clients, we offer them maternity clothes, baby clothes for up to one year of age and a few baby items like strollers," said Angie Lambert, Client Service coordinator for the HPC. "We also provide counseling as to what their options are as far as abortion, the risks of abortion and adoption."

The Rockingham Memorial Hospital also offers programs, including one Cubbage participated in. "When I registered at the hospital, I signed up for a program called Hand-in-Hand which is for young mothers. We met the fourth Monday of each month and they brought up important topics like discipline and reading to your children," she said.

According to an RMH pamphlet on Hand-In-Hand, "Our mission is to ensure healthy babies with the best possible home life. The Hand-in-Hand Resource Mothers Program offers support and resources to pregnant teens during pregnancy and the first year following birth."

As difficult as it is to imagine having these commitments this young in life, to Marquita, it is a blessing. "There are certain things the kids will say or do, and you know your day was worth while," Cubbage said.

.