Friendships, intimate relationships become balancing act in college

The return of students to college could mean two things. Friends who may not have seen each other in three months and couples, many of which also have been separated by distance for the summer, will be reunited.

Though many see the start of the college school year as a great time to be sociable, there is a potential disaster lurking in the corner for any taken female. Her girlfriends and her boyfriend want to go out the first weekend — to different places. What’s a girl to do?

Having come to college with a steady boyfriend who did not go to the same school, I had no issues when it came to hanging out with my friends – they were all I had. But isn’t the definition of college a time for single students to try on different students in the hopes of finding one that fits correctly? Prerequisite – no steady boyfriends/girlfriends while attending.

The difference, I realized, was that although I had a boyfriend, he was never around. My friends were the only option for me, and I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

How can a girl decide between hanging out with friends and boyfriends? Is there a simple way to combine the two?

I found the answers to these questions last year, when I found my very own JMU boyfriend. From the masses of male bodies that swarm this wonderful campus, I had found one for myself that shared the very zip code I inhabited — a foreign idea to me.

Now the decision of who to hang out with became more difficult.

Of course there is the allotted time in the beginning of a relationship when friends understand that you want to hang out with your new boyfriend. But this period can’t last forever.

"You get in a comfort zone hanging out with your boyfriend," senior Ellen Kokinda said. "You develop a routine and it becomes almost easier just to hang out with him than call and make an effort because you know he’ll be there for you"

It’s not a great idea to blow off your friends — they’re the ones who were there for you when you thought you’d never find Superman. "I think it’s really important to separate the time," Kokinda said. "There needs to be a balance." If the boy really is Superman, he’ll stick around. He should even respect you more for it. Though it’s fun to meet his friends, there’s only so much football and drinking a girl can take.

While the occasional get-together with friends and boyfriends are nice, for the most part the two should be kept separate.

However, our friends shouldn’t be wondering whom that boy is you’re walking with on campus. Don’t keep him a secret. If you think he is so great, he probably is, and your friends will agree.

It took me all semester to solve this dilemma (hey, don’t judge me. I was out of practice). My close friends have met my Superman, and they agreed. And now he’s graduated and moved to a different zip code. Go figure.